People who equate truth with fact are missing the point.

(Not my) insomnia…

Carter has always had a terrible time sleeping. When he was a baby, I couldn’t believe how little he slept. The first time he went from dawn to dark with absolutely no nap at all, he was younger than 3 months. Getting him to sleep was always a huge struggle. I babysat a friend’s baby one evening, a little girl just a few months younger than Carter, and I was absolutely gobsmacked when she fell asleep spontaneously in our crib (in which Carter had never slept).

Not much has changed, except that he no longer needs a nap. Sleeping at night remains a challenge and periods of acute insomnia can sometimes go on for weeks at a time. This, in spite of sleeping meds and supplements and a carefully constructed go-to-bed routine. Last night he slept from midnight to 3 am, then was up for about 2 hours. He fell back to sleep but was up again with the sun for a total of about 5 hours. I’m not a great sleeper myself, so I got even less sleep than he did since it takes me a long time to drift off after Carter quiets down.

The worst part is, the day after a very bad night is almost always a total wash. I’m OK on about 6 hours of sleep, but with less, I’m minimally functional. Worse, after several short nights in a row, I become downright dangerous. So we lose our lives. We didn’t go anywhere today and did almost nothing. Not a big deal if it was one night every now and again, but when it’s many nights, sometimes weeks at a time, it takes a huge toll. I start to feel like Carter and I are in a holding pattern with no chance of landing anywhere.

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