People who equate truth with fact are missing the point.

Blisters and Bad Hats

I’d like to introduce you to Brian in a new way. You know how I’m always, “Oh, my husband is the bomb! He’s so smart and funny and awesome!”

He’s also a dumbass.

A redheaded man who lives on the high desert Southwest who goes outside to work in the yard for 3+ hours in May…you’ve gotta think that such a man knows he needs sunscreen, right?

Not Brian. Why? Because he’s a dumbass.

Don’t worry. I totally told him that to his face.

My friend Kim, her husband Dave, and their youngest son Mason are visiting us from Austin right now. Kim and I have been friends for over 20 years and sitting at dinner this evening, we were remembering the bad old days when we were both young, broke mothers of young babies. Back then we would scoop up our babies and go grocery shopping together, like it was a social outing or something.

Who knows? I don’t understand it now, either. There was no internet back then, neither of us had cable, and we had to do something. We were laughing about that and wondering why it took us so long. How did we turn a trip to the grocery store into a half day outing?

After dinner, Kim and I ran out to Target to pick up a few things and there, we remembered why it always took us so damn long. Did we see a single ugly article of clothing that we did not laugh at? No, we did not. Did we see anything weird, unusual, or pink that we didn’t take a moment to pick up, fiddle with, and taunt mercilessly? Nope, not a thing. And did I leave you out when we saw this hat (Yes, it’s a hat; I though it was one of those baskets you put flowers in at first, too.) by neglecting to take a picture and share it? No. No I did not. I’m just that generous.

You’re welcome.

Oh, one last thing: I wrote a guest post over at 365 Days: 30+ Mommyhood. Check it out!

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11 comments to Blisters and Bad Hats

  • Same problem with the hubs over here. In Texas of all places you would think he’d learn. Nope. Then he whines. Do I feel bad for him? Nope.

    By the way I love the new digs. So very sophisticated.

    Speaking of sophisticated…I have 5 tattoos as well (read your author page). I wouldn’t have mentioned it but I was going to let you know that I’m getting the motherhood symbol in your button on my left shoulder. I wish I was stealing it from you but I’ve been thinking on it since we had our last baby. Anyway, Love you. And I thieved your button!

    • Oh, awesome! I have that symbol tattooed on my right arm. Post a pic when it’s done? I’d love to see it!

      • You do?! I really will be copying you! I don’t mind because you, my friend, are quite the role model. I forgot to specify, silly me, on my back on the left shoulder blade. Of course I will post pictures. I am all kinds of proud of my tatoos. Isn’t that the way you’re supposed to feel about something that permanent 🙂 It’s actually going to be a sort of variation with the kids names (first and middle) making up the three swirls. I am so excited. Just gotta find the time. The date didn’t work out.

  • OW. OW. OW.

    Guess what? Melanoma? NOT fun.

    Tell that idiot to put on some sunscreen.

    And I have no tattoos. I am not that cool.

    • Yeah, see? I bought 3 giant bottles of sunscreen and told him that if he hates the non-sympathy he’s getting NOW, he will surely despise the straight-up meanness he’s gonna get if he does this again. My dad had a melanoma removed from the back of his neck just a few years ago and even he hasn’t learned.

      Men are stupid.

  • Hi! First time visit over here. I’ve been stalking Kris for awhile and she suggested I stalk you too!

    That burn? Exactly the same as mine LAST memorial day. I, however, am not an idiot (at least I hope I’m not). My baby fell asleep on me on the boat (after a marathon freak out) and I was covered with a towel, except for my lower calf. SO PAINFUL.

    I’m also stalking you with a purpose. 🙂 Kris said you recently made the switch to WordPress and I’m contemplating it. Did you do it yourself or hire someone? And how do you like WP now that you have made the switch? Thanks for letting me stalk.

    • Yay for new people! And no, you’re not an idiot. Keeping a baby calm and asleep is an excuse for almost anything.

      I LOVE WP. Blogger is a 15 year old Honda and WP is a brand new Jag. Go play with the “new post” function at wordpress.com and you’ll see how much nicer it is. The move was worth it for that alone. Threaded comments are awesome, too, and it’s all much more versatile and flexible. Really, I’m so glad I did it. Go to the bottom of the page and you’ll find a link to Japster who helped me move, or you can find him on Twitter, username @japster24. He’s pretty prompt about replying to his @ me’s. He’s got great prices, too.

  • My hubby continues to tell me he doesn’t need to put on sunblock…and every single time he gets a bad burn. And I don’t even try to pretend anymore that I feel bad!

    • Why are they like that? My husband REALLY suffered. In one area, the burn was very deep and it’s STILL red and tender. Sheesh. And I didn’t pretend to have any sympathy, either. In fact, I went around calling him a dumb ass because I was honestly mad at him. He made himself sick for no good reason!

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