People who equate truth with fact are missing the point.

My Very First Recipe and Cooking Post!

Brian was watching Roseanne last night while I sat next to him, writing a grocery list. One of the kids on the show was yelling about needing something for a bake sale and Dan (He was the dad, for those of you who were living under a rock or wearing diapers in the 80s.) pulled a couple of things out of the refrigerator and said, “Here’s half a meatloaf and some frosting. See what you can do with that.”

Brian smirked and said, “That’s pretty bad. Even you wouldn’t go that far.”

For which I thanked him.

And punched him.

Because I once had a potluck to go to but I wasn’t prepared (of course) so I stuck my head in the pantry when it was time to leave for said potluck and came out with half a box of stale Fig Newtons.

Yes, I took them.

Yes, I pretended I had no idea who had done something so tacky.

Yes, I planned ahead next time. I left myself enough time to stop at the bread store.

Me and the kitchen? Not so much friends.

If this surprises you? Welcome to No Points for Style! You must be new here. Please, make yourself comfortable! Just move over that heap of laundry so you’ll have someplace to sit. Comfortable now? Good!

I make three different dinners. I used to make four, but then Carter turned out to be allergic to soy and all the tofu dinners had to go.

Nobody was disappointed about that but me.

Around here, we’ve got your spaghetti dinners, our burrito dinners, and our beans-and-rice dinners.

Variety? I have learned to be creative without creating extra work. That’s the key.

For the spaghetti? We’ve got our various noodles, the twisty ones and the long skinny ones, the tube ones and the flat ones. We’ve got the various meats: diced chicken or ground beef. And finally, the veggies: zucchini (yellow or green), mushrooms, and, well, that’s all I use. No extra work, remember?

Burrito dinners? Easy; roll it up and call it a burrito or make it flat, in a pan, and call it a quesadilla. Or make it flat in a pan with a corn tortilla and call it a tostada.

And finally, the lowly meal of beans and rice. Of course, there are lots of kinds of beans, and there are different kinds of rice, but here? It’s essential to work the sauce angle. Green chili salsa is da’ bomb (I don’t eat food that hurts but even I can tolerate a little green chili salsa.), and black bean sauce is fabulous, even if the beans are red.

And when I’m really, truly, hopelessly slackerific? We go to Dion’s*, our emergency auxiliary backup kitchen.

And you thought this was going to be an actual cooking post.

Yeah, right!

*Most of you have never even heard of Dion’s pizza, much less eaten it. That’s very sad.

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14 comments to My Very First Recipe and Cooking Post!

  • I really hate the kitchen. I can cook just fine…I’m more of a recipe follower and stuff, but I just don’t like to cook. My hubs, on the other hand, loves to cook and flies by the seat of his pants. He rarely uses recipes, and 99.9% of what he cooks is fabulous. I’m a lucky woman.
    Kmama recently posted..Buddys Bodacious Birthday

    • Oh, I know! I’m smart enough to follow a recipe, but I don’t WANT to! I hate being in there; I feel all trapped and bored.

      Yes, you’re a very lucky woman. Everything my husband makes falls into one category: brown goop. Yum.

  • Amorrish

    Dions! We rarely ever eat out, but if we have parties, etc. we order Dions. Yum! 🙂

    • Hey, I didn’t realize you’re in Abq! The rest of the world? Very sad that they don’t have Dion’s and don’t get to smell the roasting green chili this time of the year.

      Very, very sad.

  • Ant Judy

    Soup, Adrienne! Soup! And not heating a can of Campbell’s or Progresso. I mean getting inventive with which cans or bags of tomatoes, beans, beets, corn, you put in with rice or pasta. I’ll bet you could even avoid chopping onions if you buy a bag of frozen. Of course, for really great soup you’re going to have to smash some garlic. A bloop of sour cream on top.

    Soup also means crackers or goldfish.

  • The crockpot? she is my best bud.
    Katie recently posted..Friday Flip-off 5

  • So wait.

    I didn’t get why the Fig Newtons were a shameful offering.

    Explain, please.

  • Laura

    I can cook, but my attention span is too short to remember what ingredients I have put in, or where I put the recipe. I really, really dislike cooking but will do it once in a while. My mom was a terrific cook who loved cooking and kept plying me with gifts of cookware and kitchen gadgets, but to no avail. Nick liked to cook before he realized that he needed to. I used to think I could cook meals on the weekends for the week, but I don’t even get the week’s dishes washed on the weekend. We, too, love Dions, beans and rice, and spaghetti.

    • My mom, too! She’s a great cook, and I don’t even know how many times she has brought me something lovely for my kitchen, and I have NO idea what it is or how to use it.

      Sigh. We can’t be good at everything, right?

  • Renee

    I used to love to cook. Then I got married (to a man who can’t even boil pasta or an egg) and had a kid. Ten years later, I just don’t think it’s fair that I’m the one required to put meals in front of people, in addition to doing laundry, dishes, etc. and my real job. I’m tired of it (this may have something to do with perimenopause and hormones) so I just don’t do it anymore. Luckily, my daughter loves “snack plates” as meals, so she gets a fair proportion of fresh fruits and veggies, despite my refusal to make real meals.

    My favorite meal? Wine, cheese and crackers after the kid is in bed 🙂

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