People who equate truth with fact are missing the point.

31 comments to Faker

  • Jo

    Love you Adrienne/Lizzy. Because? They both ARE you. I admire you and your honesty so much and feel blessed that you trust us enough to share your words/thoughts/feelings.

    Also? Sharing the ‘real’ you? Makes us love you more and not less.

  • Chrisa Hickey

    Be who you are. Be who you wanna be. It’s up to you. Real life is hard enough!

  • People at camp liked Lizzie better because Lizzie was confident. That’s the difference. There’s no real difference between Adrienne and Lizzie except for the confidence factor. That’s it. You’re not a fraud or a fake.

  • This post right here? This is so inspiring to me. I think you are brave to examine your life and your words. I admire that you want to strive for the goals you have.

    I love reading your blog. I recently started my own and I am trying to write what I feel and what I am interested in. I really do not care if I get followers. I am almost afraid that if I do? I will feel uncomfortable about it.

    Lizzie IS Adrienne unafraid.

    But I like Adrienne just as much when she is afraid, because you know what? I feel afraid sometimes too.

  • Lizzie, Adrienne- two sides of the same coin. Lizzie does fine blogging, and I believe Adrienne will do just as well.

  • Anonymous

    I have known Adrienne- not Lizzie- for a very long time. And I have always liked YOU!! For who you are. I think you are an amazing mom, a wonderful woman and an inspiration to me and many, many other people. You rock my friend. Don’t ever forget it!!

  • […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Varda. Varda said: RT @NoStylePoints: I'm an internet faker. […]

  • KLZ

    Hi, I’m KLZ and I’m a faker too.

    People seem to think I’m funny but anyone in my real life would tell you – that ain’t the case. Fakeity fake fake faker.

    Thanks for being upfront about this – makes me feel less silly personally.

  • I recently wrote a post on my blog about depression, and wound up censoring myself a little because I didn’t want to scare anyone. In the end, I just feel dishonest.

    Be you, be honest, and keep writing. I’m sure Adrienne is just as wonderful as Lizzie.

    • Yes! Thank you! That’s it exactly. I’m far too concerned about how others will feel about what I say, think, and feel.

      If we don’t tell the truth, ugly parts included, then we all end up feeling sad and alone.

  • Henceforth you shall be known as “Lulubelle.”

    There. Problem solved.


    I could SO write empty self-help books. Maybe I’ll do that someday.

    Each of us can share only a tiny sliver in this medium. And sometimes the assumptions that are made based in the sliver of me that is visible freak me out. People assume I’m [fill in the blank] and I’m not! I’m a fraud!

    But that little sliver is still a truth. But not the whole of it, and sometimes that bothers me.

    But if you are shellaquing your slivers (now I sound like a pirate), or spray painting them…well…don’t do that.

    We love them.

    Those tiny little pieces of Lulubelle.

    • Ah, Lori. Right on time, as always.


      Yeah, spray painting. I don’t expect to ever share everything, and even if I could, people would still put their own interpretation on my words. I’ve just gotten a little too…careful, I guess.

      Hey, did I hear that you have a new blog in the building stages?

  • I just came across your blog looking for posts about camp. While your post isn’t really about camp – and therefore wasn’t really relevant to what I was trying to do, I had to keep reading because I found your voice so compelling.

    I’ve never read your blog before (but I will be back) but I just wanted to say that anyone who can write a post like this is no faker!

  • all my life i’ve had this feeling of waiting for my “real life” to begin…because i am an amoeba of the highest order. just today, the post i wrote nearly gave me the fkn hives from the fact that it was true, but not pretty. or happy. but, i’m not pretty or happy today. and it’s my blog. read it or don’t. let’s be friends or not.

    you are loved. you can be you. i will be here reading, supporting, and hoping we can be friends.

  • Look.

    We all have shame. I have shame. There are parts of me that have shame for damned good reasons and parts that have shame for no goo reason whatsoever. I’m sorry your shame kept you from being here, not just because it deprived me of you and the fellowship I feel with you as a mom with kids not too many people “get,” but also because it deprived YOU of an outlet and a craft that you are incredibly gifted at. You can write like nobody’s business, Adrienne.

    You do more than just talk about yourself and your son here — you help others. You help MY kids, because when you introduce people to Carter, you introduce them too. When you enhance people’s ability to understand how our kids are different, you help MY children.

    I’ve never considered it to be “faking” to present myself in the best possible light, and the flip side of that coin is that it’s not narcissism or self-pity to write about the things that are painful to us. Blogging for me is a way to process my feelings, its not just something I do to get people’s attention. I suspect its largely the same for you too.

  • I can so relate to this. I think I’m (mostly) honest about who I am with those in my life who really matter to me. I have times though where I feel (and fear) that if people knew the REAL me, they would not like me…like if they really knew how insecure I am, how needy, how poor my self-esteem is, they would be all “See ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!” I think my husband is the only person in my life with whom I am always completely me, no faking.

  • Dude. Are you a 4 on the Enneagram? Because I swear we were separated at birth!!!

  • OK, first off, the nice thing about taking all day to get back here and write my response to you? I get to just echo what all the wise women who have commented before me have said. So ditto Jo and ditto Lori and ditto Jamie. And super-ditto to the wise wonderful bossy Barnmaven.

    Also it’s so funny how you brought up the different selves issue, because I’ve been thinking lately how I would do a very similar thing in my own childhood – have a very different part of my persona come out on summer vacations. We regularly would go to low key, rustic resorts, small but large enough to have a “kids program” with a couple of dozen kids in it.

    Normally, in my “real life” at home, I was a shy, bookish, “nerdy” child, with two or three friends at any given time, but way far from the vortex of popular. But on summer vacations, at these lodges? I was loud and brash, the leader of the pack, the one who dreamed up adventures for us all to engage in. The thing for me is I never thought of this as a fake self, and I never made a conscious choice around this. It just kind of emerged in the vacuum of social expectation, since my usual low status was unknown. Although I sometimes wondered at why I could be so different in summer.

    And the funny thing is that as I have gotten older I have slowly evolved into this vacation Varda much more of the time. Although I am sure years of psychotherapy including five years in group may have had *something* to do with this.

    So I guess what I am saying is that even though you were so uncomfortable with this part of yourself as to give her a separate name? She is still a genuine part of you, an aspect to your personality that had been underutilized in prior circumstances. You are not a faker, just a complex woman with many facets. Like us all.

    And I do so love to read you, you honest, brave woman, you. So please, write on!

  • TheNextMartha

    You. I read you. When I read that article in Brain/Child. I read you. I could feel you, your words. They were real. You were real. You ARE real. You present your spirit, your energy in your words. I feel it. When you were “gone” I felt your pain even though you were not here to share it. If next time, this time, you feel like sharing the dark I will be here. Waiting.

  • I like the name Adrienne much better than Lizzie.

    and now that I am tweeked out on my sleeping pill and on the verge of hitting the keyboard with my face?

    I can tell you we are a world of fakers. this internet dealy is one big way to fakity fake fake FAKE.

    People thing say such pretty words and am such a lovely mother. and maybe I am. but that is not all of me. I am ashamed of a LOT of who I am. because I have shame and self-esteem problems.

    or so i am told.

    your words. they are true. that is what matters to me. your reader. and friend.

  • Ant Judy

    Some write the Great American Novel and wrestle their demons in privacy until the great unveiling of publication. You blog because, as a member of the particular family you’re a member of, you need real listeners and dialog while you wrestle. Just my guess.

    Screech, whine, rage, blubber, pontificate away. Adrienne, Lizzie, Murgatroid, whatever you call yourself, we’re listening to All of Your Authentic Yous. We are educated and entertained.

    You’ll figger it out.

    Ant Judy

  • Laila

    Don’t quit blogging. Reading your blog gave me the courage to finally, finally start my own super-secret blog. And don’t worry about being nice. Just write.

  • I would like to copy and paste what The Next Martha said, right here, please?

    Thank you.

  • You are a portal to a world I would never have known existed. Lizzie, Adrienne, Lulubelle? I love you all, because you are all one and the same. Thank you for the lessons, and please pontificate away!

  • Love this post… I think most bloggers struggle with this to some extent. i think part of it is due to all those blogging conferences/30 days to a better blog/etc. Instead of letting others inspire us, it’s all about the pressure to be “as good”. Thank you for verbalizing this so well.

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