On the Eighth Day

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.

And God awakened on the eighth day, and looked upon his creation, and God said, “Behold, it is good, but the man and woman should awaken in the morning with a delicious, energizing beverage.”

So God created coffee in the image of deliciousness; Arabica and Robusta created he them.

And the Lord God commanded the man and woman saying, “Drink coffee, and be energized, and enjoy the earth and all of its fruit, especially the beverage made from the roasted bean of the coffee plant.”

And the evening and the morning were the eighth day.

That’s probably how it went, and even if it didn’t, there’s no doubt that coffee is a divine creation.

You know what my coffee is missing, though? A cigarette to accompany it.

If coffee is from God, cigarettes are from the devil.

Damn, but I miss smoking. Miss it hard. If I was one of those people who could smoke just 2-3 cigarettes a day, I would totally do that.

I’m definitely not that kind of person. I’m a smoke-all-day, every-chance-you-get, ruin-your-health-as-fast-as-you-can smoker. I would write an ode to cigarettes here, but I have a feeling that wallowing in fabulous memories of The Cigarette Years would not be helpful in my quest to remain a non-smoker.

I got hooked on cigarettes immediately after I tried smoking. I loved the smooth feel of a brand-new pack of smokes; the removing of one slender, lovely-smelling cigarette from that pack; the snick of my disposable lighter; the tiny sizzle when I took that first drag.

Inhale, pause, exhale.


When I was a (very) young adult, my friends (everyone wave hello to Kim and Courtney!) said I smoked like a non-smoker, which I suppose means I looked . . . awkward, perhaps? Yeah, like I cared. I just wanted to suck on those damn things all day long.

When I was 22, I quit smoking for, I dunno, maybe the 15th time. No way to know if it would have taken but I got pregnant with Jacob and was so sick that virtually all smells made me puke, so that was it. I quit smoking and stayed quit for over 5 years.

Yes, after 5 years smoke-free, I had a fight with my sister and, in a moment of defeatism, bought a pack of cigarettes.

The first cigarette? D I V I N E

There I was, huddled in my backyard, freezing, thinking, “Why did I ever quit this? Oh, my God, this is awesome.”

It took maybe a week before I remembered why I quit: I smelled like shit, I felt like shit, and my bank account seemed to have sprung a leak. Also? Going outside every hour or more in the middle of winter is, how shall we say, unpleasant.

So I quit smoking again.

And a few months later, I started.

And then I quit.

And a few years later, I started.

My best estimate is that I’ve been a non-smoker for 85% of my adult life. I don’t want to be a smoker; much as I enjoy a cigarette (and I do; I really, really do) I can’t afford it, either physically or financially.

It pisses me off that even though I haven’t smoked in several years (or so; I stopped keeping track a dozen quits ago) and I still crave it.


I’m going to make myself a cup of coffee and I’m going to enjoy it sans cigarette.

Nobody said I have to like it.

I need a cigarette craving exorcism, I think.

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12 thoughts on “On the Eighth Day”

  1. Like Lori,my mom said quitting smoking was like losing her best friend.

    I am happy that you have kept it up (the quitting that is)

    YEAH! for you, your health, your future, and your family

    BOOOO to whoever invented the sticks of cancer in the first place

    that is all

  2. Awww…you can do it. It’s amazing how powerful that addiction is to them. So glad I never tried them…ok I’ve tried those wine tipped cigar things and they made me sick but for a second I looked super cool 😉

  3. I hear you. I haven’t smoked in almost 7 yrs, and I never miss the way they made me FEEL (queasy, usually, and stinky), but boy do I miss the ritual. The smell of the fresh, unsmoked cigs in the shiny new box, the sensation of lighting up. Taking a few moments to myself. Having something to do with my hands in a nerve-wracking social situation. People have asked if I deeply regret the 8 years I spent smoking. On some level, of course I do. My lungs will never be the same, even if I never smoke again. But on the other hand…I got an awful lot of enjoyment from it in those years. And in a world like ours, it’s hard to regret anything that made me happy, even if in such a small way. I won’t do it anymore – but I’m sorta glad I did it once upon a time.

  4. Ah, smoking, one “vice” I have never called my own. My mother had been quite a smoker from the time she was 12 up until I was about 4 or 5. After that she developed an asthmatic response to smoke and quit. I have no real childhood memories of her smoking, and so she has, to me, always been a vehemently anti-smoking person (not being able to breathe will make a person pretty adamant). So it is always a surprise when I come upon a photo of her from an earlier time with a cigarette in hand… especially in my baby pictures!

    I’m sorry it’s so hard for you, but am glad you are sticking with your “quit” status, in spite of temptations, as I want you to hang around this planet for a long time, my friend.

  5. I so hear you on this. I smoked in high school and college- but then quit cold turkey and never looked back. BUT every once in awhile I will walk by someone smoking and think…man can I just have one?? I am so glad that you are sticking to your guns and not smoking because it would eventually kill you one day. My parents know someone who just died of lung cancer in his mid 50’s. Smoked all of his life. Now that is WAY TOO YOUNG to die.

  6. My dad quit when I was in elementary school. I remember having a conversation with him years later (when I was in grad school), and he said that when he had a cup of coffee, he still missed them. Definitely from the devil.

  7. i smoked in college. quit when i realized that stank in the room? was my hair.

    the hubs smoked for a good 10 years. BIG time. he quit almost 4 years ago. and he was a SMOKER. he looked cool doing it too. he said it was (and is) the hardest thing ever…to be a nonsmoker every day.

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