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I hate buying groceries. I know. You’re probably surprised. Heh. Alas, it eventually has to be done. By yesterday, my pantry looked like this:
That isn’t the pantry of a family that is in any danger of going hungry, but Brian told me that if I tried to feed him one . . . → Read More: Super Secret Phone Wizardry This post will have more than the usual cursing and carrying on and even some of the dirty which, DUH, no one talks about Shemar Moore without some (or a lot) of the dirty. You have been warned. If you don’t want to enjoy the tingle that comes with thoughts of the fine hunk . . . → Read More: I love my husband but I would totally throw him under the bus for a laugh or (even better!) a chance to bite Shemar Moore.  58 comments  I Think I'm Funny  I really would love to bite Shemar Moore, I told Brian I wanted to get a goat but thank God he just laughed at me, I'm probably not the only person in the world who would like to bite Shemar Moore, please be kind to goats they are nice animals and some people I know keep them as pets and they are good at making friends with dogs which is weird but what the hell do I know, Shemar Moore is beautiful, this post is in no way intended to glamorize or endorse bestiality because EWWWWWW!!! Jacob is taking drivers’ education. Oh, you’re sweet. Yes, I was very young when he was born. Jacob is doing great with the whole learn-to-move-3,000-pounds-of-metal-down-the-road thing. I, on the other hand, had a hard time. Let’s look first at what I had to work with.
In my case, the family truckster . . . → Read More: Overcorrection I took Brian to the doctor today. Why? “I want you to keep me company,” says he, “and besides, I never remember what they tell me.” Indeed, his memory is poor. Otherwise? He would know that I cannot resist my impulses to taunt, mock, tattle, tease, and in general be a giant pain-in-the-ass. Seriously, . . . → Read More: Tattle Tale Pssst…come close…a little closer. That’s good. Now listen carefully because I’m going to whisper this next part; you know how I hate to tempt the universe. Things are good here. Like, freaky good. Awesome, even. All is quiet and lovely and about as peaceful as things have been in a year and a half. . . . → Read More: Random Pee-er 35 comments I Think I'm Funny, Marriage and Family, Pediatric Mental Illness Brian and I would like to have more sex, Carter is cute as a little bug when he's sleepwalking, I really wish he would just go to bed at night like a regular kid, sleepwalking is the cool new thing to do, you should put a fridge in your bedroom closet Brian was watching Roseanne last night while I sat next to him, writing a grocery list. One of the kids on the show was yelling about needing something for a bake sale and Dan (He was the dad, for those of you who were living under a rock or wearing diapers in the 80s.) . . . → Read More: My Very First Recipe and Cooking Post! Before I get to the matter at hand, I want to say a few things about my last post. First? My readers are the very kindest in the blogosphere. The generous, lovely notes you wrote to me here and elsewhere helped me finish climbing out of my hole and I’m incredibly grateful. More important, . . . → Read More: Nether Regions When I was a little girl, I loved to ask my mom, “What was it like when you were a little girl in the olden days?” And I was sort of kidding because I did, in fact, know that the 1950s were not the olden days, but I did love to hear how life . . . → Read More: In the Olden Days When Brian and I met, he wasn’t the pseudo-techno-nerd that he is today.* Nope, back then he sold suits for a living and, as a suit salesman, he wore a suit to work every day. My throat is sore from the snorting that comes with the memory of him, all buttoned up in his . . . → Read More: Ventilated Undershorts When Carter was in pre-school, I loved it when the older kids had in-service days but Carter still went to school. It was (and still is) so nice to be with Jacob, Abbie, and Spencer without Carter constantly pulling at my attention! The day in question was during Carter’s first year of pre-school so . . . → Read More: We all need to keep our money somewhere…  |
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