Brian was watching Roseanne last night while I sat next to him, writing a grocery list. One of the kids on the show was yelling about needing something for a bake sale and Dan (He was the dad, for those of you who were living under a rock or wearing diapers in the 80s.) pulled a couple of things out of the refrigerator and said, “Here’s half a meatloaf and some frosting. See what you can do with that.”
Brian smirked and said, “That’s pretty bad. Even you wouldn’t go that far.”
For which I thanked him.
And punched him.
Because I once had a potluck to go to but I wasn’t prepared (of course) so I stuck my head in the pantry when it was time to leave for said potluck and came out with half a box of stale Fig Newtons.
Yes, I took them.
Yes, I pretended I had no idea who had done something so tacky.
Yes, I planned ahead next time. I left myself enough time to stop at the bread store.
Me and the kitchen? Not so much friends.
If this surprises you? Welcome to No Points for Style! You must be new here. Please, make yourself comfortable! Just move over that heap of laundry so you’ll have someplace to sit. Comfortable now? Good!
I make three different dinners. I used to make four, but then Carter turned out to be allergic to soy and all the tofu dinners had to go.
Nobody was disappointed about that but me.
Around here, we’ve got your spaghetti dinners, our burrito dinners, and our beans-and-rice dinners.
Variety? I have learned to be creative without creating extra work. That’s the key.
For the spaghetti? We’ve got our various noodles, the twisty ones and the long skinny ones, the tube ones and the flat ones. We’ve got the various meats: diced chicken or ground beef. And finally, the veggies: zucchini (yellow or green), mushrooms, and, well, that’s all I use. No extra work, remember?
Burrito dinners? Easy; roll it up and call it a burrito or make it flat, in a pan, and call it a quesadilla. Or make it flat in a pan with a corn tortilla and call it a tostada.
And finally, the lowly meal of beans and rice. Of course, there are lots of kinds of beans, and there are different kinds of rice, but here? It’s essential to work the sauce angle. Green chili salsa is da’ bomb (I don’t eat food that hurts but even I can tolerate a little green chili salsa.), and black bean sauce is fabulous, even if the beans are red.
And when I’m really, truly, hopelessly slackerific? We go to Dion’s*, our emergency auxiliary backup kitchen.
And you thought this was going to be an actual cooking post.
*Most of you have never even heard of Dion’s pizza, much less eaten it. That’s very sad.